We currently have an epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases. Many do not adequately protect themselves, and many do not properly respect and protect others. To curb this epidemic, I propose:
1. Before entering bars and nightclubs or any establishment wherein pre-sexual interactions may occur, patrons must provide certification of their STD status.
2. Prior to traveling on airplanes (wherein contact may happen), travelers shall demonstrate negative-STD results within the previous 48 hours.
3. Those entering the country must show proof of vaccination for STDs for which we have developed vaccines.
By Jove, that’s a great idea!