How drunken sex can save the economy

Let’s Save the Economy in 7 Easy Steps (and Have Fun While Doing It!)

When I was young, I believed in freedom and self-responsibility. Yet my colleagues have regularly told me that my attitude is out of touch with contemporary public policy, which requires the use of any and all legislative tools to solve society’s problems.

I bow to their wisdom and offer my own modest contribution to solving a major problem — the sorry state of our public finances.

I propose a 7-step plan.

Step 1: Legalize all intoxicating substances.
Step 2: Ban contraceptives.
Step 3: As a result, sex while intoxicated will increase. (That’s the fun part.)
Step 4: Consequently, birth rates will increase among the young, and old people will die sooner from drugs, alcohol, and heart attacks. (That’s the un-fun part, but you can’t make an omelet …, etc.)
Step 5: Within a generation, more taxable youngsters will enter the work force, and fewer pension-spending oldsters will be around to drain the public purse.
Step 6: Government revenue will thus increase, and government expenditures will decline.
Step 7: Rejoice that our financial problems have been solved.

(Possible bonus Step 8: We can borrow now against the anticipated higher future tax revenues and spend now the anticipated pension savings. But I don’t want to push unreasonably.)

My plan is not only theoretically impeccable but politically feasible. Step 1 will please the free-spirited liberals and Step 2 the social conservatives. That’s something for everyone — thus enabling a bi-partisan effort to pass the required legislation.

Is it too late for me to run for office this year?

[The image is Edvard Munch’s The Morning After (1894).]

Related:

Income inequality and broken families — a modest proposal. [Banning women from the workplace — a popular idea for Left and Right!]
From the Office of the Reproducer-General. [What if we applied the many arguments for economic controls to sex?